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You see, about 24 hours ago we were sitting in the Polo Lounge of the Beverly Hills Hotel – in the patio section, of course – and we were just sitting there under this palm tree when this uniformed dwarf came up to me with a pink telephone and said, ' This must be the call you've been waiting for all this time, sir.'"I laughed and ripped open a beer can that foamed all over the back seat while I kept talking. I blundered on: "I want you to understand that this man at the wheel is my he blurted."I didn't think so," I said. Had we deteriorated to the level of of our journey to be made absolutely clear. "They want me to go to Las Vegas at once, and make contact with a Portuguese photographer named Lacerda. All I have to do is check into my suite and he'll seek me out."My attorney said nothing for a moment, then he suddenly came alive in his chair. " He tucked his khaki undershirt into his white rayon bellbottoms and called for more drink. "I'll call New York for some cash."IIThe seizure of 0 from a pig woman in Beverly Hills The New York office was not familiar with the Vincent Black Shadow: they referred me to the Los Angeles bureau – which is actually in Beverly Hills just a few long blocks from the Polo Lounge – but when I got there, the money-woman refused to give me more than 0 in cash. My attorney was waiting in a bar around the corner. I knew it was Lacerda in that plane, heading back to New York. I'm a fucking Venal, mortal, carnal, major, minor – however you want to call it, Lord ... But do me this one last favor: just give me five more high-speed hours before you bring the hammer down; just let me get rid of this goddamn car and off of this horrible desert. and if it occasionally gets a little heavier than what you had in mind, well ... I have just had two very bad emotional experiences – one with the California Highway Patrol and another with a phantom hitchhiker who may or may not have been who I thought it was – and now, feeling right on the verge of a bad psychotic episode, I am hunkered down with my tape machine in a "beer bar" that is actually the back room of a huge Hardware Barn – all kinds of plows and harnesses and piled-up fertilizer bags, and wondering how it all happened. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side when he sees the big red light behind him ... The thing to do – when you're running along about 100 or so and you suddenly find a red-flashing CHP-tracker on your tail – what you want to do then is Never pull over with the first siren-howl. Was he ready for the vicious, time-consuming scene that was bound to come if he took me under arrest? What goes into my book, as of noon, is that I apprehended you ...
As a contributor to Tom's Guide he's found a happy middle ground writing about apps, mobile gaming and other geekery.